So we begin
So, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Roi.
I was born and raised in Israel. I have been officially diagnosed with POTS syndrome and PTSD, but I also meet the diagnostic criteria for other chronic illnesses like chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, post-viral syndrome, mast cell activation disorder, and anxiety disorder.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Because I've decided to rewrite my story. And to do that, I'll need to be brutally honest with myself, incredibly vulnerable, open to change, and extremely forgiving of myself for setbacks and future challenges.
It all started with a Story
The stories we tell ourselves shape the stories we tell others and the world around us. If we believe them deeply enough, they become our reality. Illness can be more than just physical symptoms; it can also be the narrative we've repeatedly told ourselves that has become ingrained.
I'm not feeling empowered to write right now, quite the opposite. In fact, avoiding triggers is always more appealing than facing the pain they bring.
So, where do I start? There are so many things to consider. I breathe mostly through my mouth, can't sleep without medication, and struggle to eat healthily despite my food intolerances. I experience constant triggers, frequent relapses, and my POTS seems uncontrollable.
There's no project, startup, or charity to distract me (trust me, I've tried). In two months, all my obligations will be gone, leaving me with just...me.
The first thing my body did when I made this decision was, well, get sick. It took four days in bed for me to ponder my choice. Do I truly want to get better? Is my illness still serving some purpose within me? The answer, honestly, is yes.
I must rewrite my story. not a simple task to take when you devoted 2 years of actually writing it, And to be honest, even the closest of my friend’s only had fragments of the real story. It is all bound here.