The Urge to Prove Our Worth

By Roi Shternin

When illness loosens its grip even briefly, I’m filled with restless energy - a pressing need to make up for lost time. As soon as I can leave my bed or house again, I plunge headfirst into life, craving social contact and stimulation like a plant reaching toward the sun after a long winter.

In my eagerness, I overload myself to prove I’m not defined by this illness, that I’m as worthy and capable as anyone. I convince myself I’m fully recovered, denial fogging my view. The thought of scaling back, of surrendering to limits, feels like defeat.

But this desperate bid for normalcy always backfires. My overexertion comes at a high price - the harsh crash of suddenly finding myself bedbound once more.

My fellow chronic illness fighters tell similar tales - a few months of cherished freedom and productivity are inevitably cut short by relapse. We ride exhilarating waves of improvement, only to be slammed into the rocks again.

Why can’t we heed our bodies’ signals? Why deny our limits in the quest to keep up, to overcompensate for the missing years?

I’m realizing the answer lies in finding our center, our inner stillness and self-acceptance. Lasting wellness requires patience - we must wait until we find our balance before trying to run at full speed. We need to know we’re already worthy as we are.

My goal for the coming year is to dedicate time to get grounded, rejecting the urge to prove myself or make up for lost time. There is no quota to fill, no one to impress. When I can act from a place of peaceful self-knowledge instead, perhaps I’ll avoid the crashes and find a gentle path forward.

My advice is to join me in this inward journey - give yourself time to heal, move slowly, and release the need for external validation. You are enough. The only race against time is the one we imagine. Your true self exists beyond illness or health. All that matters is this moment. Breathe, and be still.

My Doctor, Printed for me one of those strip stickers and asked me to stick it to the back of my phone. it says: "slow". and many times a day when I pick up my phone I get a small reminder to slow down a bit, to breathe in. to stop rushing for a second. to remember not to take anything for granted, especially the most precious of things, especially for people like us, our hard-earned health.

I am a chronically ill entrepreneur, author, and speaker trying to navigate life with multiple debilitating illnesses while trying to fix the healthcare that brought me to this situation. My books are available in most major retailers